Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dear Mike, it's me, your bilge

Dear Mike,

It's me, your bilge. I don't know what you've been doing, but you've been neglecting me. I'm not even sure you knew this, but there has been pounds of mud, sludge, screws, nuts, bolts and other nastiness I really can't identify in the bilge.

It's no wonder you're slow and can't beat Dave Wilson on a regular basis. Please clean me out and use a pressure washer and some bleach. It's really gross down here.

Oh that's good... Eat a little bilge sludge and kill yourself and then I'll never have a good owner... Or wait, go ahead, eat it. Anybody must be better at taking care of me.

No mike, that's not a keelbolt nut. You would have noticed when the boat would have capsized if the keel had come off. And what's with all the "weddings" you've been saying you've been at? Is this code for something naughty? Well, I hope this post finds you well mike, you've been missed this season, thanks for reading this... I'll be in the slip when you need me and please, varnish the rails? They look like hell and have been complaining regularly to me. I told them to write you, but they are afraid you'll get mad.


Your dirty bilge

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Wednesday Evening Race and the Degnan Trophy

The VHF broke, the traveller car got stuck and damaged, we missed hitting the windward mark in a flood tide by inches (Brock is my witness), on the first downwind leg I broke and lost the tiller extension, and on the final upwind leg the jib halyard broke... but we managed to make shift a tiller extention with a piece of rope and my crew Patrick saved our first place finish by grabbing the wire with his bare hands and held it down long enough for us to win the race and in so doing we also won the Degnan trophy... something my dad is going to be very proud of tomorow when I show up with the trophy. The trophy is awarded to the boat from all three fleets (IOD, Knarr, Folkboat) for the most/best finishes in relation to how many boats compete that race. It's a complicated scoring system that has been tweeked and revised every few years to account for the number of participating boats due in sone cases to a declining fleet and in other cases a resurgence.
It's a fair system and for years I've watched with envy the winners as they give their speaches in honor of Dr. George Degnan for whom the trophy is named. The doctor was a man who loved life. He enjoyed it to the fullest and was good sailor who would tell the most outragous stories parelleling sailing in strong winds and heavy seas with sex. The overt references to the pulsing, thrusting, gyrating movement of the boat made me, a boy of 10 years old the first time I heard him speak, know that he wasn't just talking about the race. He would ramble on and on and appear lost and confused as he fumble to remember what he wanted to say. And just when you thought he had completely lost it and you started to feel sorry for the older gentlemen seemingly hung out to dry embarassed in front of everyone.... He'd tie it all together with a punchline that killed. The room would errupt into laughter and the energy he created with his wit and storytelling would expand
out of the confines of the Golden Gate yacht club. He'd often open the bar with a ring of the bell and the party was on for the rest of the night. I am humbled, honored and forever changed now that my name has been added to the list of accomplished sailors on the trophy before me. Can't wait to show my dad who knew, respected and introduced me to the man all those years ago.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Wednesday Evening Race Video

Thanks Brock for making this video of a horrible start, but a happy ending.

Monday, August 16, 2010

No Folkboats were damaged in this accident

I was asked to race in the San Francisco IKC's (International Knarr Championship) and witnessed this little oops that cost some guys their security deposit.

Now How Do I Get My Boat Out?

My slip has been ruined forever. The Golden Gate Yacht Club has decided to put in a piling for a new dock off their deck making getting into and out of my slip less appealling. This unannounced barge was a shock as I pulled up. They left me just enough wiggle room to sneak out the back, but if a boat decided to tie up to the guest dock, I'd be screwed. Time to see the harbormaster.

Hey, Those aren't my boot prints!


Uncool, huh?